By Arlene Schusteff
Published October 23, 2002

Dr. Phil preaches it, countless self-help books examine it, and now a game aims to help you and your partner achieve it. No, it's not how to get your husband to put down the toilet seat, but rather the other age-old mystery of how to have a happy relationship.

Aurelia Haslboeck, a teacher of "self-realization and personal transformation" based in Germany, originally created The Secret of a Happy Relationship as a personalized wedding gift. After it proved to be a hit with her friends, she engaged the services of Gabrielle Raumberger, a Santa Monica, Calif.-based graphic designer, to design the keepsake custom packaging for the game. There are five editions aimed at different relationships and personal tastes: contemporary, family, best friends, origami and a deluxe edition for couples.

"Any two people who want to enhance their relationship, whether it's platonic or romantic can play this game," Raumberger says. "The premise is fairly simple, yet the outcome can be quite remarkable."

Each player gets a supply of glass stones and a decorative box to store them in. You begin the game with one of the boxes empty. Each time you have an emotional response to the other player, you remove a colored stone that corresponds with the emotion that you are feeling toward that person. For example, let's say your husband forgets your anniversary. You take a black stone (anger or rage) and put it in your box. Or, without asking, he folds and puts away all of the laundry. (Hey, we can dream, can't we?) You take an orange stone (joy or happiness) and put it in your box. Once a week, both players reveal their stones to each other.

"There will be some stones that you don't remember," says Raumberger. "But, the fact that you were aware of the emotion and you named it means that the feeling is complete and your subconscious has dealt with it. By discussing the positive stones, it will help you build loving relationships and strengthen your bond. Discussing the negative stones will help keep grudges from building and continue to foster communication."

Raumberger says that once you begin this honest communication, you are on your way to the secret of a happy relationship.

"If you do this week after week, month after month, you will see that your relationships will change dramatically," she says.

The Secret of a Happy Relationship is priced between $15 for the origami edition and $79 for the deluxe edition for couples.
For more information, visit www.happyrelationship.com.

Copyright © 2002, Chicago Tribune

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